What a decade it has been. Besides the cliche “finding myself,” which I did, I have to say I learned so much about love. From a toxic five year relationship that ended very badly, to meeting and marrying my dream guy. Here’s what a learned about love in a decade.
1. Love yourself first: what you like matters, your opinion is important, look pretty for yourself first, respect yourself.
TIP: When you love yourself you become strong, and very hard to put down.
2. Pick your fights: we ALL have bad days. It happens. Learn that it’s ok to lose a fight sometimes, to not have the final word, to say I’m sorry, to back down. It doesn’t make you weaker, it makes you wiser.
TIP: When you pick your fights you actually show maturity, and give the other person the release they might need to just let off steam. Be a team player!
3. Learn each other’s love language: mine is quality time and gifts. Being with someone who understands those needs makes me feel loved. Learning my partner’s love language means I can show them love in a way they will understand and appreciate.
TIP: Read book The Five Love Languages if you haven’t yet!
4. Fight fair: when arguing/fighting stay in the topic you are arguing about. Bringing up things from the past or new material will only worsen the situation. And absolutely NO name calling. Ever.
TIP: try not to bring up topics you know will cause an argument when you don’t have time to talk about it, or in public.
5. Make time to stay in Love: it is true that falling in love is easy, but staying in love takes commitment. It’s a lot easier if both people in the relationship are actively trying to keep things fresh. Put as much effort in your relationship as you would in finding someone new.
TIP: schedule dates (Pinterest has lots of ideas), use their “love language” to make sure you are being effective on your efforts.
I can’t believe I met my hot husband when I was 28, on a Caribbean cruise… He’s such a catch, and I love him so, so much.
Photos by Kendra Bird Photography, edited by me 🙂